I DISLIKE SEMINAR.

I have seminar either today or tmr. Title, pancreatitis. Im gonnaa do the anatomy and physiology part. Me no likey. I can't remember what I've learnt two years back. So in need of searching all the infos. Oh well. Thats life. And Im gonna have another 3/4 seminar this year. Ugh.

Anyways, how life?

I'm just tired. Tired of you and you. Yes both of you. I wish things are going to be better, but it seems like nothing is gonna change for now. So yeah, lets just pray and hope that everything will be alright when the time comes. In Sha Allah :)

For what ever that Allah say, what ever will be, will be and whatever that not gonna happen will never happen. So lets just pray and hope things will go how its supposed to go.
May there'll be no regret etc, In Sha Allah.

Okay jom buat seminar. Bye.

It was a mistake.

Sometimes, things happened for a reason. For us to learn what we shouldn't do. Learn to be better, to be wiser. A mistake that will always teach us to aware of things and surroundings, of what might happen. For us to think what are the consequences of every single thing. 

We do promise sweet things when we are happy, but we tell things our ears don't listen when we are angry. And those things that we say, is not gonna vanish by itself. Its gonna be buried in someone's brain. 

And mistakes taught us to be afraid of doing the same thing, cause we are afraid of  the result will be the same. Which we should not feel it that way, cause mistakes should be learnt, not to be afraid of. Things that happened will let us to decide better things. What ever we do in life will always be a failure, but with that failure we could be better than what we are. 

Things are no longer easy, all things are hard. Nothing comes easy in life. 

I just miss my old self, the one who can stand on my own feet. Who can do things on my own. But, people change as time goes. So do I. I've changed. To be the person that I that I don't wanna be.

MISTAKE, TAKE IT AS A LESSON.

EOP EXAM IN LESS THAN 48 HOURS! 

Its freaking me out. This is my very first clinical exam.
So this time, we are having more like an oral exam but with no advanced preparations. Just knowledge and technique.

So we have to take history of the patients, and do the physical examinations. I dont know which one is the worst. Probably the worst part is when the question is being asked. Please please please, I don't want my blur-face to be showed to the examiner when the question-answer-session. Its gonna give bad, bad, bad impression to the examiner.

May Allah ease all my friends and my way, In Sha Allah :')

Happiness never last forever. Sometimes we expect it to last, but sometimes it just wont last. 

And  you, you are my person, and I need you to be my person. And I know you will always be my person, always. And thanks for always be my person especially when I needed you so bad. Thank you.

Anyways, I know I've updating less and lesser post from one day to another. I know. I am too lazy, or I have nothing to share, or I am just tired blabbing on blog. So, I would like to take this chance to say I am sorry to anyone, everyone if I have ever made any mistakes, especially to you. Yes you. I am truly sorry. May Allah bless you, ALWAYS. Sorry for every single thing that I have done intentionally or unintentionally. People make mistake, I make it too, and my mistakes arent just mistakes, they are also mistakes that is unforgivable. But I know you are a kind person, a nice person, forgive me, will you? Thank you. I hope that Allah will ease all yr work too. Insya Allah. May all of us get what is best for us, Amin :)

That one person.

The one that never let me down
The one that always know the right thing to say
The one that could carve a smile on my face
The one who gives me butterflies all the time

The one who I can be happy with

The one that appreciate the presence of me
The one that will never disappoint me
The one that will stand by me no matter what
The one that I wanna go through ups and downs with
The one that will undergo hardship with me and gain glory

The one I want to live my future with
The one I can't live without
The one I need in my life
The one that will lead me to somewhere better,
The one that will guide me and make me a better person
The one I wanna have kids with
The one I wanna grow old with
The one I wanna hold hands with when we are old
The one I wanna have grandchildren with
The one who knows what he has when he has me

The one and only one, king of my heart

Tears rolling on cheeks.

I know there are people out there who are being nice just to let me feel better. I know they might not talk behind my back anymore, or say bad things, but actions speak louder than words, right?

So all I can do is to bersabar. And I just hope these few years will pass asap. 

People don't know my war, they can just judge me by their own observation. They don't know what I've been through, they judge me based on what they feel like its true.

Its sad.

Only that I just can't accept the fact of why being nice and say bad things behind my back? Hm.

Insya Allah ada hikmah. These bumps might make my strength grew stronger. It builds my character to act even more mature/professional?

I just miss those days when we had nothing to be hidden and everything seems right. I know its kinda my fault, but its a choice that I've made and for once in my life its a decision that is for my own happiness and not for others. Selfish much? Yes, for this first time ever, I am selfish.

People who don't know what I've been through, I can't expect them to be how I want them to be. Cause I have to let them know the truth before I want them to act maturely. But no, its not right to say bad things to other ppl too. So let them judge.

But above all, I'm just sad, extremely sad to have friends that did those things.

ANYWAYS,

It has been 3 weeks I am in medicine posting, its gonna be another 5 weeks for me to end my first posting before move on to surgery.

Alhamdulillah it is going pretty well. All I need is just to  study damn hard. Cause in medicine you have to know like everything cause medicine is a big field. So you can just grab a book and simply turn into any page you want and you can read anywhere you want cause everything will be related. So yeah it is kinda tough.

And I really don't like case presentation :'( I did bad, terribly bad for my first one. Anyways, will improve in next one, I.Allah and will do the best in exam.

Okay, lastly, Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha to all. Maaf Zahir dan Batin ok :)

IT HAS BEEN LIKE YEARS SINCE THE LAST TIME I BLOGGED.
*exaggerated much?*

Anyways, life has been getting better, Alhamdulillah :)

My holiday is going to end in 2 weeks and yes, I am not prepared for clinical years, at all. Real patients? *GOOSEBUMPS!* hahahah.
But I hope and I pray that everything will go reaaaaaaaaaaally smoothly. Amin.

So all I did (doing, gonna do) for this hol is to rest. Hahha, Oh, I did mention about this in previous post. Haih. I have nothing else to blog :(
My life is lifeless. I have no fun stories to share, I have nothing to share. Everything seems have to be kept privately and can't be exposed.
But hey, its good ayte? :D

Im meeting Becky this Monday please oh please. All I can do is send her off. And Im meeting Sha and Stell tmr! :D Wohooo! And Sha is going to leave us this coming Wednesday. So then my life is getting moreee and moreee lifeless.

Oh something been bothering my life and I get tensed with some ppl and ugh. Ok, tak nak cerita dekat sini. Shall keep it to myself :(

Ok toodles!

Sorry my post(s) getting boring from time to time. Maybe I just need to stop blogging. Not into it anymore (but been pushing myself kan, so results dia mcm mehhh~)