That one person.

The one that never let me down
The one that always know the right thing to say
The one that could carve a smile on my face
The one who gives me butterflies all the time

The one who I can be happy with

The one that appreciate the presence of me
The one that will never disappoint me
The one that will stand by me no matter what
The one that I wanna go through ups and downs with
The one that will undergo hardship with me and gain glory

The one I want to live my future with
The one I can't live without
The one I need in my life
The one that will lead me to somewhere better,
The one that will guide me and make me a better person
The one I wanna have kids with
The one I wanna grow old with
The one I wanna hold hands with when we are old
The one I wanna have grandchildren with
The one who knows what he has when he has me

The one and only one, king of my heart

Tears rolling on cheeks.

I know there are people out there who are being nice just to let me feel better. I know they might not talk behind my back anymore, or say bad things, but actions speak louder than words, right?

So all I can do is to bersabar. And I just hope these few years will pass asap. 

People don't know my war, they can just judge me by their own observation. They don't know what I've been through, they judge me based on what they feel like its true.

Its sad.

Only that I just can't accept the fact of why being nice and say bad things behind my back? Hm.

Insya Allah ada hikmah. These bumps might make my strength grew stronger. It builds my character to act even more mature/professional?

I just miss those days when we had nothing to be hidden and everything seems right. I know its kinda my fault, but its a choice that I've made and for once in my life its a decision that is for my own happiness and not for others. Selfish much? Yes, for this first time ever, I am selfish.

People who don't know what I've been through, I can't expect them to be how I want them to be. Cause I have to let them know the truth before I want them to act maturely. But no, its not right to say bad things to other ppl too. So let them judge.

But above all, I'm just sad, extremely sad to have friends that did those things.

ANYWAYS,

It has been 3 weeks I am in medicine posting, its gonna be another 5 weeks for me to end my first posting before move on to surgery.

Alhamdulillah it is going pretty well. All I need is just to  study damn hard. Cause in medicine you have to know like everything cause medicine is a big field. So you can just grab a book and simply turn into any page you want and you can read anywhere you want cause everything will be related. So yeah it is kinda tough.

And I really don't like case presentation :'( I did bad, terribly bad for my first one. Anyways, will improve in next one, I.Allah and will do the best in exam.

Okay, lastly, Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha to all. Maaf Zahir dan Batin ok :)